Okay, so the results are in from the Valentine’s Mobile Phone Ratio Game. These ratios are being examined to see if our cell phones contain “hidden data” providing insight into our dating ethos. Our judge (Mystery Man Dan, who btw is single) has passed his decrees. Unfortunately a few people on my ’tagged list’ didn’t want to play, but for those who did, I hope you can find some meaning here:
key – [ratio, exes, creeps, possibilities]
PSN: “Wonder John” 2.59, 0, 1, 4
With a ratio of 2.59 and zero exes, you are quite the anomaly among this group. This either means one of 2 things: A.) You are an absolute player, or B) You tend to land in that grey ’friend zone’ way too often. Either way, you should have more “possibilities” based on your high ratio of 2.59 to 1.
PSN: “Peaches Shenandoah” 1.23, 11, 0, 4
Do I have this straight? “Peaches?” Not sure I can get over this gem of a name ’“ you should have it legally changed. Your ratios seem to be fairly even, but what an impressive resume with 11 exes still in your phone! You must have leave relationships on good terms ’“ can you teach me how? This tells me you’re a popular gal and a social butterfly.
PSN: “Annie Gawain” .34, 6, 1, 1
A .34 ratio? Hmm….you don’t seem to have trouble meeting people, based on the 6 exes, so this makes me wonder if a bad experience resulted in a mass delete of the opposite gender, or if you’re married? I’d spice it up a bit: Your possibility count (1) really needs to be expanded; there is nothing wrong with taking numbers, just give out fake ones. While you may be a ’girl’s girl’ or a ’guy’s guy’ the early bird takes the worm.
PSN: “Cassie Timber” .59, 3, 0, 2
Aren’t you the one that loves to gossip all day with your girlfriends about other girls’ lives…..I tend to think you love hanging out with your girlfriends, and are pretty happy with that as it is. Most weekends are “girls nights” filled with “choco-tinis” and loungy-type bars….I also tend to think that although you meet creeps every now and then, you don’t care enough to keep them in your phone just in case they call – you are a straight call screener, and don’t answer ANY numbers that aren’t in your phone already.
Note: I gave the judge all our ratios anonymously, so I love my personal analysis (Cassie Timber). Also, as I was poking around I found reference to “Purring Kitty” technologies, offering to turn your cell phone into a vibrator! Go figure.
So, Comments? Suggestions? Do you think there is any merit behind this data?